Finding the Silver Lining Amidst the Pouring Rain

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There have been two times in my life I have felt the adage, “When it rains, it pours” has applied. The first was the culmination of losses over the course of 2008. One of my best friends suddenly lost her brother, a wonderful guy with a real carpe diem approach to life. My dog past away suddenly. She was the dog of a lifetime. Then, one of my best guy friends died suddenly in his sleep. He had been my date to prom, one of my closest confidants, and one of a dozen students who I went on a high school exchange to Germany with. I still miss him dearly. All of these losses were underscored by my then undiagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder. At the time, I felt like my foundation had truly been shaken. For months after my friend’s passing, getting a phone call from any friend I hadn’t heard from in a while would immediately evoke feelings of panic, fear, and concern until I knew the purpose of the call. There were two real graces amidst this period of loss. First, I very quickly saw how quickly everyone rallied around the families who had lost these young men, offering any instrumental or emotional forms of support they could. Though there isn’t a way to compensate for the unexpected loss of a young person, the willingness and eagerness of everyone to drop everything to be at their families’ sides was reassuring and beautiful. The second grace during this time was that I was diagnosed with GAD. Receiving treatment, and therapy have proven to be life changing. The losses were a catalyst in finding out that I had been battling a disorder that could be made so much better with the right tools.

More recently, I have felt the torrents of rain come back. This current storm is one that started off much more gradually. And fortunately, the stakes haven’t been as high as the loss of young life. My nana passed two weeks ago after we received some other difficult news. The latter is something that my family is working on and working through.

Fortunately, I’ve come from a faith-filled family. Woven throughout my entire childhood were the statements and the genuine belief that, “God doesn’t close a door without opening a window,” and “God works in mysterious ways.” My childhood was filled with hope and positivity even when times were difficult. A poem that I cherish so deeply when times are tough is grandfather. 

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The storm hasn’t broken yet, but on the horizon is the prospect of radiant sunshine. Through our hard work, sacrifice, and our willingness to talk through the times we’ve just wanted to shut down, there quite literally is something pretty spectacular not too far off. 

When time are tough, what are your own sources of inspiration, comfort, or faith?

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14 thoughts on “Finding the Silver Lining Amidst the Pouring Rain

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is incredibly brave. I have had stormy times in my life, too. Financial hardships, illnesses and death but I did not go through it with an anxiety disorder. As someone who works with children who have mental health issues, I understand what a struggle that can be. What does get me through stormy times are my family, prayer and my unending optimism that fabulous experiences lay ahead. I will be sending prayers your way.

    1. Thank you for your thoughtful, heartfelt comment, Shelah. I love your compassion, and can really relate to the issues you described. I have no doubt you have unending optimism. It is something that I wish more had. Prayer certainly helps to reinforce optimism in me, that’s for sure!
      Thanks again <3

  2. Such an honest post. Thank you for sharing. I can’t imagine the frustration you must have felt not knowing you were experiencing anxiety. I’m glad you were diagnosed and have been given tools to help. The past few years, in times of need or distress, I practice Reiki on myself. It is a great comfort to me.

    1. Thank you so much for your empathy and for your words of encouragement. Finding out I had anxiety was both incredibly helpful and incredibly frustrating. I have yet to try Reiki but have heard great things! I appreciate your endorsement!

  3. You and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers. Your strength through this time is remarkable and I know good things are on the horizon. Hang in there, keep drawing on the strength of God and your family, and eventually, everything will make sense. Love u! ❤

    1. I cannot thank you enough for your prayers. I too have prayed for you when I’ve thought of visitation, or your work hours as a single mom. You are an inspiration. I really appreciate the love and warmth. Love you and yours even though we’ve only met on the net! haha.

  4. Thank you for sharing this very personal post. I’m glad you are able to find those silver linings. Sometimes it seems like we are hit with so much at once and it really tests our faith. Hang in there and know I’m there for you if you need it. I really liked that poem.

    1. Thank you so much, Melissa. It was personal and a bit intimidating to write, but I’m glad I did. Thank you so much for listening when I’ve needed to vent <3

  5. Im sorry you are going through a tough time.. I find writing in a thankful journal helps me when I am feeling down.

  6. I like this verse: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12 This one helps me in times of trouble or worry. I can lean on this verse and know that God is working for my good.

    1. This is such a beautiful passage! I wasn’t familiar with it. Thank you so much for sharing and for your thoughtful commentary <3

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