The Depth of My Daughter

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We got some news recently. Really good news. But I’ve been weighed down by mixed emotions. My husband got a new job. A really good job, in fact. The catch? We have to move across the country, 4440 km to be exact. We are leaving our network, my family, and some of the best people I’ve ever known. Raising children has made me lean into those closest to me more than my fiercely-indepent-self would have ever done before. The payoff has been, aside from extra hands on deck, my daughter and son have developed such solid connections with those I love the most. To add to it all, I couldn’t be more in love with where I live. The mountains, ocean, lakes, river, mild temperatures, hiking and walking trails make this area feel like a natural playground, a perfect place to explore and re-explore. When my husband found out he got the job, my immediate reaction was joy! He so deserves this position. Especially considering that after we fell in love, he left a very lucrative, secure job to move back to Canada and be with me. This new position is one that appeals to his strengths more than anything he’s had since he moved here. Despite this, I’ve been left in a state of nervousness, anxiety, and uncertainty. I’ve been craving a shift in perspective, some form of insight. I’ve prayed, but I haven’t felt calm.

On a particularly rainy morning, I sat fascinated as the torrents poured down after days without rain. Though Vancouver is known for its rain and a climate much milder than the rest of Canada, Vancouverites are known to perpetually complain about how wet/ gray/ hot/ cold/ couldy/ sunny it is. Without fail, when it rains, acquaintances will follow the greeting of, “How are you?” with something along the lines of, “What terrible weather!” My three-year-old daughter looked out that morning at the tumultuous, gray skies and pelting precipitation, and exclaimed, “What a beautiful day!” and meant every word of it. It was at that moment I realized, it was. The rain offered much needed revitalization. For my daughter, she saw limitless adventure (we love to jump in rain puddles) different from a sunny day, but equally as promising. For me, it represented a cleansing of the proverbial slate.

The week concluded with the celebration of her third birthday. That night, as I laid down beside her as she unwound from a very exciting day, we recounted highlights of the day. I asked, “What was your favourite part?” Her sleepy eyes momentarily shone with immense sparkle. Her voice filled with whimsy and warmth, “Everything!” she exclaimed. The words echoed in me. What she shared both times this week resonated so deeply, giving me the shift I needed. It reminded me of a quote,

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

My daughter made me realize that no matter where my family resides, no matter what our circumstance, as long as I have my loved ones in my life, and I have my children and husband near me, my life is abundantly full.

Have you moved away from home? Have you had any little graces or pearls of wisdom lately? Please share!

xo Alana 

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17 thoughts on “The Depth of My Daughter

  1. I have moved away from home several times, although only once since my daughter was born. We left America two years ago when my daughter was almost 2 years old.
    We traveled for a year and have been in Thailand for a little over a year now. What has worked for me is to get into the community you are moving into right away. Look for playgroups, classes, or hobbies groups in the area you are moving into. Email them ahead of time and let them know you are interested. Make a new community for yourself as quickly as possible. This has always helped me feel at home in a new place even when we were there for just a short time.
    Good luck with the move!

  2. What a sweet post! Congrats to your husband, it sounds very exciting!! I can understand your feelings of anxiety, since I have never lived away from home, except to go to college. I know you will do great though and I agree as long as I have my hubby and kids.. i can make it anywhere! 😉

  3. Such a great post! I love it when our children share such wonderful pearls of wisdom. It makes us stop and think and appreciate life. Good luck on the move, I look forward to hearing all about it!

  4. Love that quote and your positive attitude in this post! I imagine I would feel similar if moving from the west to the east coast. Moving is hard. I have always lived within three hours of my family so I have never made a cross-country move.

  5. This is beautiful Alana! Kids are the best at reigning us in and helping us focus in and remembers what’s important. Changes everything! I moved my whole life so I don’t know what it’s like to be on place with family all around…until now that is! Its hard and a loss in some ways for sure, but, as you said, as long as you have your husband and babies, you can make it anywhere! I’m excited to hear how it all goes and pray the transition is smooth and relatively painless. And I hope you can visit with family often! Love you sweet friend!

  6. I left my home state of Florida almost seven years ago for my beautiful San Diego, California. I LOVE IT HERE. So much life and living has happened – both good and bad. I fell flat on my face and then I picked myself up and built something amazing. Now it will be soon time to say ‘so-long’ to my San Diego. I met and married a man with children who live in another state. The military is what brought him here and he is getting out of the military in May. His kids have been without a full-time dad for six years now and that is six years too many. It tears out my heart to leave California, but it tears out my heart more to think of those girls having to be without their dad. I cannot, in good conscious, be the reason he is away from them so we are picking up our lives and moving to a small town in a small state with values and ideals much different than mine. It will be an adjustment. I read this post today for a reason. Thank you for your words. I will have my husband, be closer to Florida (and my family) and finally establish a strong bond with my bonus (aka step) daughters. That will be everything. It will take time, but life and the universe are taking me there for a reason.

    Best of luck in your move. And a HUGE congratulations to your husband on the new job.

  7. That quote is phenomenal. You’re very brave. It reminds me of a conversation I had just last night with a friend. Being a part of a couple means a lot of sacrifice – and it’s not always easy, but it’s good. It’s good to let go and to sacrifice. I’m so impressed with you. Prayers for peace and smooth transitions!

  8. Moving with young children can be difficult but they adapt quickly. We were living far from my family when my daughter was a tot when I decided that I wanted to raise her near family. We actually adjusted very quickly and I am sure that your family will, too.

  9. Awww congrats!!! Home is where your family is! Great post! This is exciting! Can’t wait to read how it all goes!

  10. Oh, Congrats to your husband. I’m sure that it’s such a bittersweet feeling. I had a difficult time moving recently (only 30 minutes away), so I can only image what you are going through. I do know lots of people though that have had to move and while you miss your friends, you will meet knew people and make new experiences. Very sweet post!

  11. I love the way you ended the post! First: happy birthday sweet girl! Second: I wish your family huge success in your new venture! It’s scary, but the good thing is that having kids means that you will always have new ways to meet friends!

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  14. I really loved the conclusion of this post. Thank you so much for such a nice read. I think we should all realize the importance of our loved ones and understand that how much they matter.

    Thanks

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