An Open Letter To My Kids About Parenting

Credit: Jeff_Golden

To My Dear Kiddos,

One day, you may have children of your own. Or, maybe you won’t.

If you do decide to trudge down the path of uncertainty, insecurity, and wonderment known as parenting, I’d like to share a few thoughts.

Once you are a parent, your entire view on life will change.

Fear becomes a renewed part of your existence. I say “renewed” because after you become an adult, your childhood fears subside. Then suddenly, you have a little being you’re responsible for, everything seems terrifying again. There is a balance between being protective, and over-protective. The trick, is finding that balance.

You may disagree with how we raised you.

The “mommy wars” or “parenting wars” will still exist. They’ve been around since the beginning of time. Just know, we did the very best we could to the best of our knowledge.

You may not be happy that we vaccinated you. You may think it’s gross that I breastfed both of you. Perhaps you’ll be angry when you find out that, if the situation called for it, we let you “cry it out.”

These choices were right for us given our experience and resources.

The same goes for my parents and daddy’s parents.

They made choices that helped develop and mold us to be the people we have become. We don’t make  the same parenting choices as them half the time, but the decisions we do make are supported by the foundation of our independence encouraged by them.

That is what I hope we are doing for the both of you. I welcome you to question us and our methods. But respectfully.

I promise you, once you have children, memories from your childhood will surface and you may be confused. Hurt, even. Why did we handle something the way we did? Talk to us about it. We can’t change the past, but we can certainly learn from it (or at lease explain ourselves).

As your kids grow, it will hit you-Parenting is a lot of things.

It’s unconditional love. It’s Encouragement, Faith, Judgement, the latest fad.  But what it all comes down to, is instinct and intuition. Do what is right for you and your family because you love them more than you’ve loved anything in your entire experience, and deep down, you’ll know what needs to be done.

Only then will you be able to fully understand that that is what we did. You two are our world. We’ve always done what is right for you from our point of view.

Also, don’t be afraid to lean on others for help. Whether you need advice, a sitter, or just a moment to use the restroom in peace. Do what you can and before you reach the end of your rope, accept help (because it will be there!). You are useless to your children when you’re angry or frustrated all the time.

So, if you choose to be a parent, I promise I will keep my mouth shut and sit on the sidelines while you do everything wrong, just as your grandparents did for me and your daddy.

With all of my Love,

Mom