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You are here: Home / Positive Parenting Strategies / These are the Best Positive Parenting Discipline Techniques

January 25, 2017 By Alana Pace 21 Comments

These are the Best Positive Parenting Discipline Techniques

Positive parenting discipline is incredibly effective but it is also a lot of work. Find a plethora of positive parenting resources below.


Whether it’s in the candy aisle at the grocery store, at school pickup, or at a family gathering, we’ve all been there. Our child acts out and there is an audience. It feels as though all eyes are on us judging our reactions and our approach.

Not only do we want to do what’s best for our kids in these moments, but we also want to come out as unscathed as possible when it comes to the judgement of others. Sadly, more than once, I have had that family-member-once-removed witness my parenting and assume that because I don’t punish my kids, I’m failing to discipline them.

The truth is, you can have effective discipline without punishment. In fact, the “old school” techniques including timeouts, spanking, yelling, and chastising have been proven to be ineffectual.

The problem for so many of us is that we default to what we experienced as children. And, positive parenting discipline can take a lot of thought. Honestly, it’s effortful. When we are exhausted, it’s hard to think of how to structure our discipline in a way that doesn’t include some of the above-mentioned techniques. As such, I’ve assembled some of the best resources on positive parenting disciplinary techniques. These references contain invaluable positive parenting tips.

Positive Parenting discipline or Positive Parenting disciplinary techniques are incredibly effective, rooted in research, and maintain the trust between parent and child. Find some of the best positive parenting strategies here. Gentle parenting, attachment parenting. Parenting toddlers, parenting young kids. Authoritarian parenting.

Best Positive Parenting Discipline Techniques

Positive Parenting Discipline and Staying Calm

Staying calm and level-headed is crucial to executing positive discipline. Here are some tips to stay on track.

  • If you find you lose your cool, this simple strategy to stop yelling will help in the heat of the moment.
  • This 10-step plan from Dr Laura Markham to stop yelling is a must-read.
  • Here are five things you can do to be a calmer parent.
  • When you start to feel out of touch with your parenting, these tips will help you reset and get back on track.

Positive Parenting Disciplining & Choosing Your Wording Carefully

  • Find out why saying “Calm down,” “relax,” or similar doesn’t work and what to say instead in this post from The Mommy Views.
  • Read how negative language makes discipline harder to understand and how to use more powerful phrasing here.

Positive Parenting Techniques for Big Emotions and Difficult Behaviour

  • Use this analogy when addressing your child’s most difficult behaviour – it will help you come up with an action plan.
  • Gently coach your child through their anger with these strategies from The Mommy View.
  • This three-letter acronym from The Reformed Idealist Mom will helpfully and drastically change how you approach difficult behaviour.
  • Parent through toddler tantrums and willfulness with these 11 tips.
  • Find more parenting tips for toddler tantrums from Aha Parenting.
  • For children beyond the kindergarten years, consider the stage of their social and emotional development. Here are both insights and suggestions for children around the age of eight.
  • Go for walks and talk. Read one mom’s story here.
  • For separation anxiety, consider these strategies from Kids Craft Room. Or, follow these ideas to set up a strategy to ease separation anxiety from yours truly.

Positive Parenting Discipline: Alternatives to Timeouts

  • Here are positive parenting alternatives to timeouts.
  • This is an excellent read on Time Ins vs. Timeouts including one mistake you may be making.
  • In this post, you will find out how to set up a calm down corner.
  • This is why timeouts don’t work the way we would like them to.

Strategies so Your Child Will Listen Better

  • This one crucial tip to increase listening is excellent.
  • Find nine effective strategies to get your child to listen here.
  • For a great resource, read these research-based tactics on how to improve your child’s listening.
  • Finally, find tips to better your communication with your toddler in this post.

Positive Insights, Strategies, and Ideas For a Strong-Willed

  • On picking your battles, Danya Banya identifies battles she’s completely willing to lose and why this works.
  • Here is a wonderful compilation of tips on parenting spirited children.
  • Find out the most crucial aspect to parenting a strong-willed child here.
  • Read an excellent article from Dr Laura Markham on parenting spirited child children here.
  • On the days where parenting a strong-willed child is incredibly difficult, here are two posts worth reading and holding close to your heart.
    • 3 Ways Parenting a Spirited Child will Bring You Joy
    • 20 Hopes for my Spirited Child

I hope you’ve found value in the immense amount of resources on positive parenting here.

Here are some other excellent posts centred on positive parenting
  • Sure there aren't any kids that listen all the time, but I would go so far to say my kids aren't obedient. There are two big reasons why I'm more than okay with kids not being obedient. Find out why by clicking here. Positive parenting, gentle parenting, empathetic parenting, authoritarian versus authoritative parenting, moral reasoning critical thinking. Parenting toddlers and preschoolers.
    Read More
    My Kids Aren't Obedient and That's Okay
    November 7, 2016
  • Kids not listening? These two helpful strategies are great tips on how to get your kids to listen. Great positive parenting strategies for parents with young kids, toddlers, and preschoolers.
    Read More
    Your Kids Will Listen if You do THIS
    May 3, 2017
  • Your child's behaviour is especially difficult and you've tried to coach them, but nothing is working. Your child won't listen despite using every parenting strategy you can think of. This positive discipline technique is the foundation for everything. Find out why this particular positive parenting strategy works so well.
    Read More
    This is the most valuable strategy for all good behaviour
    May 11, 2018
  • Raising good kids: Why forcing kids to behave hurts more than it helps
    Read More
    The best consequences for kids drop threats and problem-solve instead
    August 20, 2019

Filed Under: Parenting Toddlers, Positive Parenting Strategies, Posts, Readers' Favourites Tagged With: attachment parenting, calm down corner, calm down corner vs. timeouts, gentle parenting, parenting a strong-willed child, parenting from the heart, parenting spirited child, parenting toddlers, positive parenting discipline, positive parenting techniques, punishment, timeouts

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. shelahmoss says

    January 25, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    You have done a wonderful job compiling resources on positive parenting! I will be saving this to share with my clients.

    Reply
    • Alana says

      January 25, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      Thanks so much Shelah! As you can tell positive parenting is a passion of mine and these resources are just wonderful! I really appreciate you being a part of it.

      Reply
  2. Laneic says

    February 26, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    Awesome resources! Positive parenting has so many misconceptions wrapped around it and it’s great to have this post as something to refer to!

    Reply
  3. Erin Adam says

    March 2, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    Love this approach,and it works while helping build self esteem!

    Reply
    • Alana says

      March 5, 2017 at 9:33 pm

      What a great point, Erin and thanks for reading. Positive parenting is a great foundation for strong self-esteem.

      Reply
  4. Natasha says

    March 27, 2017 at 11:37 am

    Great job putting together these amazing tips.Thanks for sharing. I am definitely going to share these with fellow parents.

    Reply
  5. Savannah (@HowHesRaised) says

    May 23, 2017 at 11:24 pm

    Such an AWESOME compilation. Positive parenting is something I work extremely hard at daily, but many around me don’t believe that it could possibly work. Will definitely be sharing! Thanks so much <3

    Reply
    • Alana says

      May 24, 2017 at 4:40 am

      Thank you so much for this feedback! Positive parenting is such a challenge but is so hugely rewarding.

      Reply
  6. Priya says

    October 18, 2019 at 6:05 am

    Nice post ! Thanks for sharing

    Reply
  7. sweetiemom says

    April 29, 2020 at 1:11 am

    I love reading through an article that can make people think.

    Reply

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Hi! I'm Alana. When I'm not nursing cold, stale coffee, I usually can be found with the baby on my hip, barefoot, and racing after my two older kids. Thanks to a degree in psychology and a free-range childhood backing onto an expansive evergreen forest, positive parenting and play-based learning are my passions. Read more here.

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Though there are countless people who understand t Though there are countless people who understand the importance of positive, responsive parenting, the idea that young children should self-soothe remains a prevalent belief.

Though this ideology is well-intentioned, it actually goes against what we know about human development.

Babies come into the world highly dependent on responsive caregiving not only for nurturance and protection but also to foster social and emotional development.

While it may seem that leaving a child to cry will help her learn to cope, it actually floods her brain with cortisol. She doesn’t learn to self-soothe but instead to shut down.

Though it may seem counterintuitive to some, independence is fostered through responsive care. The less stressed a child feels, the safer he feels to explore his world. The less stressed he feels, the more appropriate his emotional responses become.

This is first seen in late infancy but pervades through childhood and adulthood.

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In adulthood, people who have responsive and caring partners feel more stable and comfortable being independent.
So hold and comfort those babies.
Hug and respond to your kids.
Love and hold space for the adults you are closest to.
Attachment fosters independence.
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