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You are here: Home / Life Lessons / What’s Fair: a lesson for my kids

August 11, 2014 By Alana 7 Comments

What’s Fair: a lesson for my kids

Filed Under: Life Lessons

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Comments

  1. Sasha says

    August 12, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    Oh, mine seem to forever want what the other has simply because the other has it! There are definitely moments I just want to pull my hair out. 🙂 Love the man’s explanation to his daughter though, especially the last sentence.

    Reply
    • Alana says

      August 18, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      Sasha, I can so totally relate to wanting to pull your hair out when they are going at it like cats and dogs (sorry, another pet analogy 😛 ). The last line was the clincher for me too <3

      Reply
  2. mamabyfire says

    August 17, 2014 at 8:47 pm

    That is such a great lesson! I love Louis CK!! I may have to borrow this soon! Also-I have nominated you for a Liebster Award, details at http://wp.me/p4GEMv-8Z

    Reply
    • Alana says

      August 18, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      I love Louis CK too. Feel free to borrow away. And, I will check out the nomination. Thank you so much!

      Reply
  3. melissajane01 says

    August 19, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    I’m going to have to use that lesson about your “neighbor’s bowl.” What a great post!

    Reply
  4. threeboysandamom says

    October 24, 2014 at 3:42 am

    I LOVE this Alana!! What an important lesson…one I need to start teaching now. Thank you for sharing this!!!

    Reply
    • Alana says

      October 27, 2014 at 6:53 pm

      Thank you, Rachael! It’s one that I think is so important <3

      Reply

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Hi! I'm Alana. When I'm not nursing cold, stale coffee, I usually can be found with the baby on my hip, barefoot, and racing after my two older kids. Thanks to a degree in psychology and a free-range childhood backing onto an expansive evergreen forest, positive parenting and play-based learning are my passions. Read more here.

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Though there are countless people who understand t Though there are countless people who understand the importance of positive, responsive parenting, the idea that young children should self-soothe remains a prevalent belief.

Though this ideology is well-intentioned, it actually goes against what we know about human development.

Babies come into the world highly dependent on responsive caregiving not only for nurturance and protection but also to foster social and emotional development.

While it may seem that leaving a child to cry will help her learn to cope, it actually floods her brain with cortisol. She doesn’t learn to self-soothe but instead to shut down.

Though it may seem counterintuitive to some, independence is fostered through responsive care. The less stressed a child feels, the safer he feels to explore his world. The less stressed he feels, the more appropriate his emotional responses become.

This is first seen in late infancy but pervades through childhood and adulthood.

Have any questions about these findings? Feel free to comment below or send me a message!
❤️❤️❤️❤️ Teach Through Love ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Teach Through Love
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So often independence and attachment are thought t So often independence and attachment are thought to be mutually exclusive.
However, research shows that in order for children (and adults) to be independent, they need to feel safe and secure within their closest relationships. In childhood, this means having caregivers who respond to distress and both emotional and physical needs.
In adulthood, people who have responsive and caring partners feel more stable and comfortable being independent.
So hold and comfort those babies.
Hug and respond to your kids.
Love and hold space for the adults you are closest to.
Attachment fosters independence.
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🙏🙏🙏 (Couldn't help but laugh at that last 🙏🙏🙏
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"This year, I changed my assessments by adding a p "This year, I changed my assessments by adding a piece of paper at the end, asking, 'What else do you know about the topic, that I didn’t ask you about?'

Another teacher suggested this idea online about a year ago – I wish I could remember who it was! – and I thought, 'BOOM. I want to do this.'

Answering the question is completely optional, and when students do show more understanding on the sheet than they did on their assessment, I’ll point it out to them. Sometimes I’ll write, 'The learning wasn’t shown in your assessment, but I can see you do know this from what you wrote at the end.'

Afterward, I’ll follow up with them about how to recognize and answer test questions asked in different ways. Clearly, in cases like this, they understand the material but aren’t able to formulate an answer in response to the way I posed the question. I’ll point out to them that while it’s great that they’ve shown me their learning, they won’t always have a chance to answer assessment questions in an open-ended way, and I want them to succeed when they encounter assessment-style questions in the future.

I love what this change has done. This strategy has made my assessments more inclusive. It helps me communicate to my students: When I assess your understanding, I’m looking for what you DO know."
—Teacher Julie Arsenault via @teacher2teacher
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