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You are here: Home / The Spirited Child: Positive parenting resources, articles, and insights

The Spirited Child: Positive parenting resources, articles, and insights

Find quality positive parenting resources for parenting a spirited child here. These resources are based on research and rooted in positive parenting.


 

Parenting a spirited child is a dynamic, involved, and arduous undertaking. You see, a strong-willed or spirited child does not take direction at face value. They are prone to power struggles, as they are energetic, involved, and often, quite sensitive.

 

What exactly is a strong-willed child? Some parents call them “difficult” or “stubborn,” but we could also see strong-willed kids as people of integrity who aren’t easily swayed from their own viewpoints. Strong-willed kids are spirited and courageous. They want to learn things for themselves rather than accepting what others say, so they test the limits over and over. They want desperately to be “in charge” of themselves, and will sometimes put their desire to “be right” above everything else. When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears. Strong-willed kids have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle. – Dr Laura Markham, Aha Parenting

 

Spirited children have a strong sense of self. They are leaders. And they aren’t highly impressionable. They are an incredible source of pride for their parents. However, it is because of these traits, spirited children can be quite difficult to parent. Here you will find resources on parenting strong-willed children that are encouraging, empowering, practical and rooted in research.

 

Resources for Parenting a Spirited Child

Find quality positive parenting resources for parenting a spirited child here. These resources are encouraging parents with empathetic attachment parenting strategies and more. Research-based. Great insights on parenting a strong-willed child

 

  • The Mistake I've Made Parenting My Strong-Willed, Independent Child
    March 19, 2016
    Life Lessons, Positive Parenting Strategies
    Because I was a strong-willed, independent child myself, I thought I was parenting my...
    Because I was fiercely independent as a child myself, I mistakenly thought I was parenting my strong-willed independent child exactly as she should be. But I was wrong.
    READ MORE
  • The Best Strategies for Parenting a Spirited Child
    June 19, 2016
    Positive Parenting Strategies, Posts
    Parenting a spirited child is a very involved, dynamic, & rewarding process. Find positive...
    Parenting a spirited child best strategies
    READ MORE
  • Insights & Strategies for Raising Strong-Willed Children
    April 4, 2017
    Positive Parenting Strategies, Posts
    Raising strong-willed children is a demanding process. We can't just demand compliance because it...
    Raising spirited children is involved, dynamic, and difficult. They are also a source of immense pride and have been shown to have greater successes later in life than their non-spirited counterparts. Find incredible resources on how to successfully raise strong-willed kids here.
    READ MORE
  • How to End Power Struggles with Your Strong-Willed Child
    July 3, 2017
    Positive Parenting Strategies, Posts, Readers' Favourites
    Strong-willed children are prone to power struggles. They're outspoken and fiercely determined. As parents,...
    strong-willed child in a power struggle over screen time with mom
    READ MORE
  • Parenting through difficult toddler behaviour: These 10+ strategies are simple and effective
    October 17, 2017
    Parenting Toddlers, Positive Parenting Strategies, Readers' Favourites
    When you're faced with difficult toddler behaviour, it can be painful. You simply want...
    Toddlerhood really is both the best and worst of times. Here are over 10 tips on parenting through difficult toddler behaviour that are centred in positive, empathetic parenting
    READ MORE
  • 10+ Children's Books That Will Make Your Strong-Willed Child Laugh
    April 4, 2018
    Play-Based Learning Activities, Positive Parenting Strategies
    Parenting a strong-willed or spirited child is prone to power struggles. Sometimes reading and...
    best books for a spirit child1
    READ MORE

 

For additional reading on spirited children, check these out:
  • 20 Hopes for my Spirited Child
  • Parenting your Strong-Wiled Child
  • 3 Ways Parenting a Spirited Child can Bring you Joy

 

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Hi! I'm Alana. When I'm not nursing cold, stale coffee, I usually can be found with the baby on my hip, barefoot, and racing after my two older kids. Thanks to a degree in psychology and a free-range childhood backing onto an expansive evergreen forest, positive parenting and play-based learning are my passions. Read more here.

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Me to my 5yo: stay still I want to take your pictu Me to my 5yo: stay still I want to take your picture.
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A beautiful reminder to find little ways to connec A beautiful reminder to find little ways to connect with our children ❤️❤️❤️
Often people fear responsive parenting will create Often people fear responsive parenting will create needy kids. 

Developmental research suggests otherwise. 

The more reliably and compassionately that we respond to our children’s needs, the more secure and assured they feel to venture out into the world.

Attachment & independence aren’t two opposite sides of a spectrum but two sides of the same coin.
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I remember in my earlier days of parenting when I I remember in my earlier days of parenting when I had two under two so much of my life was spent thinking I’ll be happy when…

I’ll be happy when they sleep through the night.

I’ll be happy when my husband doesn’t have to work such late hours.

I’ll be happy when I look and feel like myself again and not a feeding troth 😬😬😬

As it turns out this struggle with finding happiness isn’t unique to me or parenting. 

Collectively our mental health is suffering, but there are many research backed ways to improve happiness. (Link in bio to read more).
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via Happy as a Mother 🙂❤ via Happy as a Mother 🙂❤
Though there are countless people who understand t Though there are countless people who understand the importance of positive, responsive parenting, the idea that young children should self-soothe remains a prevalent belief.

Though this ideology is well-intentioned, it actually goes against what we know about human development.

Babies come into the world highly dependent on responsive caregiving not only for nurturance and protection but also to foster social and emotional development.

While it may seem that leaving a child to cry will help her learn to cope, it actually floods her brain with cortisol. She doesn’t learn to self-soothe but instead to shut down.

Though it may seem counterintuitive to some, independence is fostered through responsive care. The less stressed a child feels, the safer he feels to explore his world. The less stressed he feels, the more appropriate his emotional responses become.

This is first seen in late infancy but pervades through childhood and adulthood.

Have any questions about these findings? Feel free to comment below or send me a message!
❤️❤️❤️❤️ Teach Through Love ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Teach Through Love
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via The Outnumbered Mother via The Outnumbered Mother
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😂 😂
So often independence and attachment are thought t So often independence and attachment are thought to be mutually exclusive.
However, research shows that in order for children (and adults) to be independent, they need to feel safe and secure within their closest relationships. In childhood, this means having caregivers who respond to distress and both emotional and physical needs.
In adulthood, people who have responsive and caring partners feel more stable and comfortable being independent.
So hold and comfort those babies.
Hug and respond to your kids.
Love and hold space for the adults you are closest to.
Attachment fosters independence.
Absolutely this. Via Living FULL Absolutely this. Via Living FULL
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