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You are here: Home / Parenting a Strong-Willed Child: Best resources, strategies, and tips

Parenting a Strong-Willed Child: Best resources, strategies, and tips

Parenting a strong-willed child can be incredibly challenging. These dynamic children are prone to power struggles and can be highly sensitive. They are also born leaders, innovators, and precocious. Here you will find effective strategies to connect, motivate, and improve cooperation.

Get a free printable with tips for parenting a strong-willed child at the bottom of this post.


Parenting strong-willed children can be incredibly challenging. These dynamic children are prone to power struggles and can be highly sensitive. They are also born leaders, innovators, and precocious. Here you will find effective strategies to connect, motivate, and improve cooperation. They are rooted in positive parenting strategies and are based in research. They include great tips to end power struggles. Parenting from the Heart

 

My strong-willed children are my greatest sources of pride in my life. Most certainly, there are times where I feel swept into their emotional roller coaster or in a gridlock with their iron-clad will. However, this is no doubt, these two souls are my greatest sources of joy too.

 

What is the definition of a strong-willed child?

They may be perceived as difficult or stubborn. However, strong-willed children are kids who aren’t easily swayed. They won’t accept instruction at face value. Naturally, they want to test limits again and again. They want their independence.

“When their heart is set on something, their brains seem to have a hard time switching gears. Strong-willed kids have big, passionate feelings and live at full throttle.” – Dr. Laura Markham, Aha Parenting

Parenting my own strong-willed children, my goal is to find balance. I want them to feel they have the autonomy they need to explore and understand their world. Additionally, they deserve the freedom to express themselves. Whether it be their imaginations or their emotions, my children deserve to have an outlet for their passion. Because of their spirited nature, they also need clearly defined boundaries, predictability and consistency.

Thanks to a lot of research as well as trial and error, I have found wonderful resources and powerful strategies for raising strong-willed children. Below, you will find the best strategies for improving listening, decreasing power struggles and parenting in a way that maintains trust. My number one focus is to maintain my children’s spirits while being their parent.

 

I hope you find these tools helpful too!

Parenting strong-willed children can be incredibly challenging. These dynamic children are prone to power struggles and can be highly sensitive. They are also born leaders, innovators, and precocious. Here you will find effective strategies to connect, motivate, and improve cooperation. They are rooted in positive parenting strategies and are based in research. They include great tips to end power struggles. Parenting from the Heart

 

Positive Parenting Strategies for Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

  • Your Kids Will Listen If You Do This
  • How To Get Your Strong-Willed Child To Cooperate
  • Positive Parenting Strategies to Calm An Angry Child
  • Parenting a Strong-Willed Child: The key to it all

 

  • The Mistake I've Made Parenting My Strong-Willed, Independent Child
    March 19, 2016
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    Because I was a strong-willed, independent child myself, I thought I was parenting my...
    Because I was fiercely independent as a child myself, I mistakenly thought I was parenting my strong-willed independent child exactly as she should be. But I was wrong.
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  • The Best Strategies for Parenting a Spirited Child
    June 19, 2016
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    Parenting a spirited child is a very involved, dynamic, & rewarding process. Find positive...
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  • Insights & Strategies for Raising Strong-Willed Children
    April 4, 2017
    Positive Parenting Strategies, Posts
    Raising strong-willed children is a demanding process. We can't just demand compliance because it...
    Raising spirited children is involved, dynamic, and difficult. They are also a source of immense pride and have been shown to have greater successes later in life than their non-spirited counterparts. Find incredible resources on how to successfully raise strong-willed kids here.
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  • How to End Power Struggles with Your Strong-Willed Child
    July 3, 2017
    Positive Parenting Strategies, Posts, Readers' Favourites
    Strong-willed children are prone to power struggles. They're outspoken and fiercely determined. As parents,...
    strong-willed child in a power struggle over screen time with mom
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  • Parenting through difficult toddler behaviour: These 10+ strategies are simple and effective
    October 17, 2017
    Parenting Toddlers, Positive Parenting Strategies, Readers' Favourites
    When you're faced with difficult toddler behaviour, it can be painful. You simply want...
    Toddlerhood really is both the best and worst of times. Here are over 10 tips on parenting through difficult toddler behaviour that are centred in positive, empathetic parenting
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  • 10+ Children's Books That Will Make Your Strong-Willed Child Laugh
    April 4, 2018
    Play-Based Learning Activities, Positive Parenting Strategies
    Parenting a strong-willed or spirited child is prone to power struggles. Sometimes reading and...
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For additional reading on strong-willed children, check these out:

  • 20 Hopes for my Spirited Child
  • Parenting your Strong-Wiled Child
  • 3 Ways Parenting a Spirited Child can Bring you Joy

 

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Hi! I'm Alana. When I'm not nursing cold, stale coffee, I usually can be found with the baby on my hip, barefoot, and racing after my two older kids. Thanks to a degree in psychology and a free-range childhood backing onto an expansive evergreen forest, positive parenting and play-based learning are my passions. Read more here.

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Me to my 5yo: stay still I want to take your pictu Me to my 5yo: stay still I want to take your picture.
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A beautiful reminder to find little ways to connec A beautiful reminder to find little ways to connect with our children ❤️❤️❤️
Often people fear responsive parenting will create Often people fear responsive parenting will create needy kids. 

Developmental research suggests otherwise. 

The more reliably and compassionately that we respond to our children’s needs, the more secure and assured they feel to venture out into the world.

Attachment & independence aren’t two opposite sides of a spectrum but two sides of the same coin.
😍Yep - Absolutely love this. via @Angela Anagno 😍Yep - Absolutely love this.
via @Angela Anagnost-Repke, Writer
Every. single. time I see this I laugh out loud 🤣🤣🤣
I can't think of anything more true.
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Via Matt Beaudreau
I remember in my earlier days of parenting when I I remember in my earlier days of parenting when I had two under two so much of my life was spent thinking I’ll be happy when…

I’ll be happy when they sleep through the night.

I’ll be happy when my husband doesn’t have to work such late hours.

I’ll be happy when I look and feel like myself again and not a feeding troth 😬😬😬

As it turns out this struggle with finding happiness isn’t unique to me or parenting. 

Collectively our mental health is suffering, but there are many research backed ways to improve happiness. (Link in bio to read more).
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THIS. 🙌🙌 (Follow Maryfairy Boberry) THIS. 🙌🙌 (Follow Maryfairy Boberry)
👣 via @creativechildmag 👣

via @creativechildmag
via Happy as a Mother 🙂❤ via Happy as a Mother 🙂❤
Though there are countless people who understand t Though there are countless people who understand the importance of positive, responsive parenting, the idea that young children should self-soothe remains a prevalent belief.

Though this ideology is well-intentioned, it actually goes against what we know about human development.

Babies come into the world highly dependent on responsive caregiving not only for nurturance and protection but also to foster social and emotional development.

While it may seem that leaving a child to cry will help her learn to cope, it actually floods her brain with cortisol. She doesn’t learn to self-soothe but instead to shut down.

Though it may seem counterintuitive to some, independence is fostered through responsive care. The less stressed a child feels, the safer he feels to explore his world. The less stressed he feels, the more appropriate his emotional responses become.

This is first seen in late infancy but pervades through childhood and adulthood.

Have any questions about these findings? Feel free to comment below or send me a message!
❤️❤️❤️❤️ Teach Through Love ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Teach Through Love
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via The Outnumbered Mother via The Outnumbered Mother
❤❤❤ ❤❤❤
😂 😂
So often independence and attachment are thought t So often independence and attachment are thought to be mutually exclusive.
However, research shows that in order for children (and adults) to be independent, they need to feel safe and secure within their closest relationships. In childhood, this means having caregivers who respond to distress and both emotional and physical needs.
In adulthood, people who have responsive and caring partners feel more stable and comfortable being independent.
So hold and comfort those babies.
Hug and respond to your kids.
Love and hold space for the adults you are closest to.
Attachment fosters independence.
Absolutely this. Via Living FULL Absolutely this. Via Living FULL
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