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Parenting From The Heart

a place for parents who aren't perfect but are trying their best

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punishment is bad

Why Punishment Is Ineffective & What To Do Instead

As parents, it becomes easy to default to punishment. For many of us, it’s how we were raised. And when…
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Hi! I'm Alana. When I'm not nursing cold, stale coffee, I usually can be found with the baby on my hip, barefoot, and racing after my two older kids. Thanks to a degree in psychology and a free-range childhood backing onto an expansive evergreen forest, positive parenting and play-based learning are my passions. Read more here.

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Every. Day. Via Matt Beaudreau

Every. Day.

Via Matt Beaudreau

I remember in my earlier days of parenting when I

I remember in my earlier days of parenting when I had two under two so much of my life was spent thinking I’ll be happy when…

I’ll be happy when they sleep through the night.

I’ll be happy when my husband doesn’t have to work such late hours.

I’ll be happy when I look and feel like myself again and not a feeding troth 😬😬😬

As it turns out this struggle with finding happiness isn’t unique to me or parenting.

Collectively our mental health is suffering, but there are many research backed ways to improve happiness. (Link in bio to read more).

♥️♥️ via Heather Shumaker

♥️♥️

via Heather Shumaker

THIS. 🙌🙌 (Follow Maryfairy Boberry)

THIS. 🙌🙌 (Follow Maryfairy Boberry)

👣 via @creativechildmag

👣

via @creativechildmag

via Happy as a Mother 🙂❤

via Happy as a Mother 🙂❤

Though there are countless people who understand t

Though there are countless people who understand the importance of positive, responsive parenting, the idea that young children should self-soothe remains a prevalent belief.

Though this ideology is well-intentioned, it actually goes against what we know about human development.

Babies come into the world highly dependent on responsive caregiving not only for nurturance and protection but also to foster social and emotional development.

While it may seem that leaving a child to cry will help her learn to cope, it actually floods her brain with cortisol. She doesn’t learn to self-soothe but instead to shut down.

Though it may seem counterintuitive to some, independence is fostered through responsive care. The less stressed a child feels, the safer he feels to explore his world. The less stressed he feels, the more appropriate his emotional responses become.

This is first seen in late infancy but pervades through childhood and adulthood.

Have any questions about these findings? Feel free to comment below or send me a message!

❤️❤️❤️❤️ Teach Through Love

❤️❤️❤️❤️ Teach Through Love

via @unconditional_parenting.

via @unconditional_parenting.

via The Outnumbered Mother

via The Outnumbered Mother

So often independence and attachment are thought t

So often independence and attachment are thought to be mutually exclusive.
However, research shows that in order for children (and adults) to be independent, they need to feel safe and secure within their closest relationships. In childhood, this means having caregivers who respond to distress and both emotional and physical needs.
In adulthood, people who have responsive and caring partners feel more stable and comfortable being independent.
So hold and comfort those babies.
Hug and respond to your kids.
Love and hold space for the adults you are closest to.
Attachment fosters independence.

Absolutely this. Via Living FULL

Absolutely this. Via Living FULL

🙏🙏🙏 (Couldn't help but laugh at that last

🙏🙏🙏
(Couldn't help but laugh at that last one)
via Scary Mommy

Love this so much! via Nourishing Our Children

Love this so much! via Nourishing Our Children

Yes 👏👏👏 via @DissociativeDiaries

Yes 👏👏👏
via @DissociativeDiaries

via Domari Dickinson

via Domari Dickinson

🙏🙏🙏 (Couldn't help but laugh at that last

🙏🙏🙏
(Couldn't help but laugh at that last one)
via @scary mommy

"This year, I changed my assessments by adding a p

"This year, I changed my assessments by adding a piece of paper at the end, asking, 'What else do you know about the topic, that I didn’t ask you about?'

Another teacher suggested this idea online about a year ago – I wish I could remember who it was! – and I thought, 'BOOM. I want to do this.'

Answering the question is completely optional, and when students do show more understanding on the sheet than they did on their assessment, I’ll point it out to them. Sometimes I’ll write, 'The learning wasn’t shown in your assessment, but I can see you do know this from what you wrote at the end.'

Afterward, I’ll follow up with them about how to recognize and answer test questions asked in different ways. Clearly, in cases like this, they understand the material but aren’t able to formulate an answer in response to the way I posed the question. I’ll point out to them that while it’s great that they’ve shown me their learning, they won’t always have a chance to answer assessment questions in an open-ended way, and I want them to succeed when they encounter assessment-style questions in the future.

I love what this change has done. This strategy has made my assessments more inclusive. It helps me communicate to my students: When I assess your understanding, I’m looking for what you DO know."
—Teacher Julie Arsenault via @teacher2teacher

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