When I started yoga teachers’ training (YTT) mid-September something shifted in our household. Before, my daughter had been a textbook sleeper. Bedtime routine had been bath, books, a quick song, and a prayer. I would place her in her crib, it was lights out and she would slowly talk herself to sleep. Maybe it’s because my YTT schedule had me out of the home at bed time twice a week when I had barely missed bedtime before that. Maybe it was simply the fact that I went from Stay-at-Home Mom to being out of the home a minimum of four times per week. Whatever it was, her ease of going to bed and staying in bed quickly changed to wanting to be in “Mama and Papa’s bed” and “Mama [to] lie down,” as she went to bed each night. I’ve conceded somewhat; her mattress is now on our floor. And, I do lie down with her each night. While I understand many might view this as a regression or a substantial problem in need of fixing, this shift has actually opened up our young mother-daughter relationship quiet a bit. Suddenly, we’ve been given quiet, focused time in a form we hadn’t previously had in our typical, hectic day.
As she states her request “Mama lie down,” I snuggle in beside her. She softly works her hands over the cat comfort toy she sleeps with each night and invariably pours out her little heart. Sometimes, she discloses a favourite of hers. “Mama, I wuv Fwozen Movie. Do you wuv Fwozen?” she’ll earnestly ask. She’ll recount highlights of her day from a perspective I don’t always anticipate. Every way she opens up melts my heart and has me in awe of the little person she’s growing into. However, the times I feel the most privileged to be there are the times she shares her fears, and worries. For whatever reason, I mistakenly assumed she did not have the ability to put her finger on what is perplexing her at any given time. In this time nestled into one big pillow together, she has disclosed her greatest fears and worries. From an adult perspective, admittedly, they are pretty darn cute. But to her, they are legitimate and are aspects of life that she is unsure she’ll be able to concur. Recently, she has been afraid to do “Number Two” on the potty (she has just started potty training). She disclosed, “It scares me.” Bed time for the next three nights after that involved me recounting an exaggerated story of me having accidents at age two and how Nana and Grandpa told me, “It’s okay to have accidents, it means you’re learning.” When there was a recent upset in our family and my daughter was picking up on the stress, our pillow talk turned into expressions of love for one another and big, strong hugs. After having success with the story of my own potty training mishaps, some of our pillow talk has since been woven into stories where the moral ultimately is “Good listening,” or something else we are working on. Other nights, we simply recount our favourite parts of the day, and I highlight why I’m particularly proud of her.
This protracted bedtime routine lasts about 30 minutes more than our previous one. I have to say that despite it being a little less textbook in its presentation, it has been a beautiful gift to lay beside my beautiful daughter, and gain insight into her developing mind and the depths of her little personality and young soul. I can’t help but feel immensely grateful for this time.
How do you connect with your own family? I would love to hear your stories and insight <3
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workingmommagic says
This sounds like my daughter! She loves having me lay down with her.. she says “snuggle momma, we snuggle!!” She is so sweet during that time, I just love it. (even if it means I have to lie there so long that I end up falling asleep with her almost every night. .bad habit I know!)
mamabyfire says
How incredibly sweet! I love the alone time I get with my daughter before bedtime-that’s the only time it happens. Your lovely lady sounds so insightful and smart! It’s so amazing what they pick up on!
melissajane01 says
So sweet! I love those bedtime snuggles and ‘pillow talk.’ My kids always want someone to lay down with them before bed. That is a precious picture.
threeboysandamom says
This so precious!! I love bed time routines and no matter what time it is, we do the whole thing. I cherish those moments even when they’re crazy! Haha! Lately the boys have been wanting to make sure they don’t forget to give me a kiss…which I would never let them. But it’s so sweet that it’s switched from me asking for kisses to them asking for them. What a sweet time for you and your daughter and a beautiful way to find calm and peace amidst some chaos and stress. I think it’s so important to do that for our kids!
sayitrahshay says
This is still the best part of the evening! My teen will curl up next to me on the couch and share bits and pieces from her day. I love this moment when I am not nagging mom and she is not ill mannered teen and we chat.
listen2mama says
Aw, I think it is incredibly sweet, and only you know what works best for your family. Cherish these moments, as they truly fly by!
triciathegoodmama says
Aw, this is SO sweet. I always look forward to putting my son to sleep. We read books and snuggle up together. My son is not much of a cuddler though. He’d rather be in his crib. So, I just read as many books as I can to enjoy the snuggles until he’s ready for bed.
Alyssa from The Sparkly Life says
SO sweet! those just-before-bed moments with my daughter are some of my favorites, too. I have to remind myself to slow down during the bedtime routine–it shouldn’t always be a race. 🙂 Thanks for the reminder!